In April I decided to take some time out. I had left my full-time job in January and dived into teaching yoga and life coaching at speed. A few months in and I realised that my body, my mind and my spirit were in need of "something". What that "something" was I wasn't sure of & so after chatting with friends I chose to stay in Mallorca following my May retreat. I have been here for three weeks now and the one word that keeps coming to me is simplicity. I am rediscovering the simplicity of being in nature, being in flow and being in presence.
Last night, my good friend Saskia took this to the next level for me as she spoke about perspective in her yoga class. We all may live in the same place, have similar challenges and may even dream the same dreams but it is from our perspective that we interpret and it is from our previous experiences that we choose our actions & our next steps. So what if we were to choose something different from what we see as the 'norm'.
In making the choice of being in this beautiful place I struggled with old fears – what if something happens to someone at home, what if my yoga classes aren’t there when I get back, where will I live, what if I don’t meet any people, what if, what if, what if? In the end it came down to this: “What if it is exactly what I need to bring me home to me?” and this was the scariest question of all. Who am I if I don’t live in London, hang out with friends at familiar places, teach yoga classes, build my coaching business and have a home to call my own?
I have heard it and read it countless times - our home is not outside of ourselves. It isn't a tangible place with a bedroom, a garden, a kitchen and a bathroom, it is something inside of us that feels comfortable, feels peace and feels contentment. When this is in flux our outer world mirrors our inner and over the last few months I wasn't really enjoying being with me. This gift to myself of spending time with me, tuning into what resonates and also to what doesn't feel quite so right is a process and finding home in myself is enabling me to like me again.
As the old saying goes "home is where the heart is" and right now I see that this is within me. It no longer matters where I live, where I teach, what my bank balance is, etc as none of these things are who I am. At my core, at my heart I am freedom, I am love & I am trust and I am grateful for the experience of life in all of its simplicity. I am grateful to myself for giving me the gift of being in quietness and opening to the offerings of the universe.
I came across this wonderful quote yesterday which inspired me to write this morning:
“You do not need to leave your room, remain sitting at your table and listen, simply wait. Do not even wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice. It will roll in ecstasy at your feet .” Franz Kafka.
Today I invite you to gift yourself some time and space and be present to YOU. It can be five minutes, five hours or five days and in this gift give yourself something that feeds your spirit and awakens your heart with joy.
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