I AM BEAUTIFUL – Writing and speaking these three words is a trigger for me – an almighty trigger. I'm mid-way through the Forrest Yoga Foundation Teacher Training and at the beginning we were told not to waste a good trigger. Well I've found a great one and it’s making me uncomfortable. VERY UNCOMFORTABLE!
I AM BEAUTIFUL – If feels scary to hear my voice saying the words and it feels nerve racking to hear someone say them to me – YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Why? I have heard them before. I encourage my students and clients to see their own beauty and embrace it so why is it so hard for me to do it for myself?
This week I was a witness to my reactions when I heard it. There were two occasions. On the first occasion I pushed it away as if it hadn’t been said until a friend reminded me while moving into camel pose. The second time I nervously laughed, made a random comment, made excuses as to why I wasn’t used to hearing it and worked hard to change the subject. Physically I remember my body jolting as if I had been struck, I felt butterflies in my stomach and I felt tears in my eyes on both occasions. I FELT VULNERABLE.
Owning our vulnerability is the key to unlocking our heart, to finding our truest self. And it takes courage. In my experience it also takes risk. The risks have no guarantees & for me there is fear of hurt & fear of failure. But if I don't take the leap into my vulnerability, into my beauty I may never know what wonderful gifts the risks bring.
Anais Nin said: "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
As uncomfortable as it has been for me to blossom and release from my bud, it no longer holds the same tightness. I am feeling the feelings and choosing a new path. I am committing to step into my own beauty and my name wholeheartedly (ironically Aoife is the Gaelic for 'beautiful'). I allow myself to hear and feel the words when others say them to me, to acknowledge them with graciousness and to recognize the vulnerability if it comes up in my body, physically & emotionally.
My question to you this month: Can you embrace your beauty & use it to light up your life and the lives of those around you?
Walk in Beauty
Previous Blog Posts...