It’s been a little over a year since I wrote my last blog. Whether its been a lack of motivation or inspiration, I am not really sure, but during this time at home I have felt the stirrings of an urge to write again. The last couple of weeks as we journey as a community together, through the changes that life has thrown our way, has been full of moments of beauty and moments of WTF.
I’ve went from defiance to surrender, from frustration to anger to immense vulnerability and have landed for now, this morning in a pause of tenderness, deep trust and acceptance. There is no doubt that this wave we are riding will have twists and turns as we navigate the changing waters we currently find ourselves in. It has been and will continue to be a roller coaster ride, and I believe the biggest gift we have been given in this is knowing that we are all in it together. It no longer matters where you are from, what you do, how you look, your belief system or when this wave hit your community… we are now ONE and being asked to show up as we never thought we would have to for ourselves and for each other.
In a lot of ways we have been preparing for this for a while. Our practice of getting on the mat each morning has instilled a somewhat surreal sense of stability and is, for me personally, what guided me through the last year and has now brought me right back into the present moment. I remember standing with my friends in a random bar, (the fact that we were even out was also random), and feeling so relieved when the clock struck midnight on the 31st December as Eminem’s song “Lose Yourself” came across the airwaves. What a song to start the year with and as it played I felt a sense of relief and calm across my whole being as though there was a deep knowing that there would be a break in the ongoing cycle. Little did I or any of us know that the break would show up in this way.
Stepping back into rest has been a part of my classes, retreats and workshops since late last year and on some level, there has been a slow collective awakening to the realisation that we can no longer keep living the we have. Taking a step back and pausing has been an ask energetically for quite a while and yet it seems that we have viewed a rest as a holiday that we do for a couple of weeks and then launch ourselves back into “normal” life and continue going.
It’s an ongoing race to where exactly?! I certainly don’t know and I’m not sure any of us has that answer.
We might think we know but ultimately what this is showing us is that we have no idea what or where the destination lies. The ask in this moment is to come back into the journey.
One thing that keeps resonating with me over these weeks of being at home, is that nature continues to give. She continues to shine, to cry, to show her beauty, her anger, her frustration, her wildness, her peace and her stillness. She continues to recharge and to show up for us. So can we show up for her now? Can we show up for those in our communities that need us? Can we put our people and our hearts first over money and need to escape this and see what the gifts are by approaching life in a new way?
It feels as though we are on a detox and clearing the path for something unknown to reveal itself so can we walk together and allow ourselves to connect back to hearts. It is a time of diving into and revealing our vulnerabilities, even if it feels daunting and scary. On a level, I feel, we have been preparing for this subconsciously so now that the time has arrived, can we recognise that we are held and we are loved and that there is something way bigger than what we can see going on. Can we let go of our supposed identities and who we think we are and connect back to what is real and true for us in our hearts, and in turn enable others to do the same? Can we stand together in heart, in community and in kindness and play our part?
As one of my beautiful friends and teachers shared this morning; "Can we sit in the pause? More importantly for those of us with the gift of being able to pause, can we hold the pause and stillness with tenderness for our people that are on the frontline?”
Pause, stay safe, stay present, stay home and allow the world to reveal herself in a new way.
"The not knowing is part of the adventure."
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